


I'm tired (but I can't sleep)

by togeprii



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Gen, not really that shippy tbh, other members are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18509122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/togeprii/pseuds/togeprii
Summary: Momo loves what she does. She loves being with people. She gets energy and she gets hyped from being surrounded with people. Her fans make her smile. Being around other people makes her happy.But even for someone as extroverted as Momo, there comes a tipping point wherein being surrounded by others can be a little overwhelming.





	I'm tired (but I can't sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> For the longest time, I've had this headcanon that Momo hangs out with the other members cause she's very outgoing and they're outgoing but when she hangs out with Mina she's looking for the calm quiet. not very shippy if thats what you're looking for. this one is more of a self indulgent attempt to try to get to what and idol thinks. cause what even is a 7 hour vlive
> 
> disclaimer: tis a fanfic

Momo is tired.

 

But not sleepy-tired. There is a weird feeling of restlessness settling in her chest. One that screams for the need to be alone.

 

Momo isn't an introvert. In fact, she’d describe herself as the exact opposite.

 

But there are days, as much as she likes being with other people, as much as she likes interacting with their fans, there just comes a point where everything becomes a little too much. Don’t get her wrong. It's not that she’s ungrateful for the attention — there are just... moments where everything can be a little too much.

 

Like right now.

 

The past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind.

 

(Maybe it was a little bit insane to do a 7-hour vlive stream, but she'd promised!)

 

Momo loves what she does. She loves being with people. She gets energy and she gets hyped from being surrounded with people. Her fans make her smile. Being around other people makes her happy.

 

But even for someone as extroverted as Momo, there comes a tipping point wherein being surrounded by others can be a little overwhelming. It’s exhausting to put up a front. A happy, joyful front for hours. Its hard trying to catch yourself, to be careful of all of your actions and words. To put forth a persona that is acceptable to most of their fans.

 

These kinds of moments don’t always happen to Momo and it seems as though this one of those rare moments.

 

Momo is one of the more extroverted members of Twice and doing the vlive and appealing to the fans (especially this close to the comeback) is part of her job. Most of the time it is a breeze. Momo genuinely likes doing vlives. She likes the attention. She likes being in the limelight.

 

Right now, however, she is tired.

 

It's already quite a feat in itself to do a solo vlive. To have that tenacity, to have that confidence, to stand by yourself, alone in front of thousands of virtual, anonymous fans. Especially when there are demeaning comments. Or when the fans keep asking for other members.

 

Logically, Momo knows that they mean no offense, they don’t mean to hurt _her_. There are members that aren't as active on social media and Momo knows fans who have other biases probably want to see the other members as well. But Momo can’t help but feel more than just slightly a bit hurt.

 

_She was there, wasn't she? Wasn’t she enough?_

 

It's moments like these where Momo understands the other members’ apprehension in doing vlive streams. It is exhausting. They were already under the spotlight most of the time— already under enough scrutiny whenever they step out in public. There really was no reason for them to invite that same scrutiny during their downtime.

 

Perhaps, in the past few days, Momo had bit a bit more than she could chew. It was in times like these where she'd just felt the need to get away from everyone else.

 

Felt the need to be alone.

 

But where could she go? She couldn’t exactly just walk out of the dormitory. And in the same vein, while she loves living with the other members, there just isn’t space to be alone in the dormitory. (Perhaps it was time to start investing in their own apartments?) There was just no space to run away.

 

Momo isn't used to feeling like running away and is ill equipped in finding a quiet spot in their dorm.

 

It certainly didn't help when Jeongyeon had decided that today of all days she'd clean their room. (“Our room is a mess, Momo. There are too many chips on the floor Momo! There are going to be ants everywhere!”) With Jeongyeon commandeering their room and declaring it a Momo-free zone for the next hour to clean their messy room (“It's really not that bad, Jeong”), Momo had nowhere to go.

 

The living room was occupied, with Nayeon and Jihyo watching some drama. On any other day Momo would love to join them. But she was just not quite in the mood to socialize, even with the other members. The thought of being with others right now feels almost claustrophobic — suffocating. Sana and Chaeng were writing lyrics for their next comeback in the big room. The maknae room was occupied as well, with Dahyun asleep in her bed and Tzuyu on a skype call with her parents. It was not somewhere she'd like to barge in. They'd already had little enough time to get sleep and talk to their families.

 

_Where? Where? Where?_

 

_Should I go outside?_

 

But going outside meant potential run-ins with fans and crazy fansites which Momo was just not up to dealing with today.

 

Her feet had led her to the basement.

 

There was no one there. Momo could do some alone time. Reflect on her life choices, finally get some down time for herself. Relax without the judgmental eyes of other people. Maybe even play some music and dance freely.

 

Be by herself just for a little while.

 

But there was one member she hadn't accounted for.

 

“Momoring?”

 

Mina was there. Tucked in a corner, back against the wall, knitting needles in her hands, a bundle of knitted cloth that closely resembled a dog sweater on her lap.

 

“Mina? Why are you sitting on the floor?”

 

Mina gives her a sheepish smile, “My leg hurts a bit. The chairs are uncomfortable.” At Momo’s alarmed expression, she quickly backtracks, “It doesn’t really hurt that much! I just need to stretch them out a bit.” Mina makes a show of stretching her injured leg. “And, Sana and Chaeyoung needed the room. So, I just got out of the way. I just wanted to be alone for a bit.”

 

“Oh.” Momo could understand that. Especially with someone like Mina, going from having her own spacious room in the Myoui house (mansion) to rooming with 3 other girls in a cramped dormitory had to be quite the adjustment. “Oh, okay, I think I’ll go then.” Momo turns to leave —

 

“No, it’s okay.” Mina pats the floor next to her. “Sit with me?”

 

Momo wonders for a bit when the last time they spent time together with just the two of them. It’s been awhile. Most of the time, they are surrounded by other members. Without thinking Momo sits down next to her. Mina goes back to knitting. Momo whips her phone out of her pocket and looks through messages from her family and friends back home.

 

It’s nice to sit with Mina.

 

It feels comfortable. Momo is pleasantly surprised that she doesn’t feel suffocated. A thought passes in Momo’s mind that perhaps it’s because Mina isn’t expecting her to talk. Doesn’t force her to engage in a conversation.

 

It hits her then. This is what she loves about being with Mina. Mina could be doing her own thing and Momo could do her own thing. She could just be there. Yet, there isn’t so much of a pressure to be _there_.

 

_Mina’s thoughtful like that, I guess_. Momo muses. Somehow, there are times when Mina somehow knows — understands, what Momo wants — needs.

 

In the back of her mind a tingling of memory of Mina looking for the pillow appears in her head during one music show. She’d been wearing a short skirt then. Mina had known then that she was uncomfortable even without Momo having to say anything. She was just thoughtful that way. There’s also a memory of Mina cooking pasta for her when she was craving for pasta. A fond smile crosses her face as she remembers Mina measuring all the ingredients (including the noodles!)

 

This is what Momo loves about Mina. They’ve always had a somewhat unconventional relationship — opposite personalities Momo was a very outgoing extrovert, Mina very much an introvert. The only thing really tying them together was their shared love of dance. But despite that, Mina always just got her for some reason.

 

Mina takes a short break from knitting as her phone vibrates. Her mother had sent her a short clip of Ray. Mina laughs and leans her head against Momo’s shoulder, showing the older girl the clip of her dog chasing its own tail. It’s kind of _their_ thing, Momo supposes. Even back when they were trainees, Mina would casually tuck her face into Momo’s shoulder when she’s embarrassed. This time, Momo shares with Mina the photos she’d taken at the dog cafe she’d visited with Sana and Tzuyu. Mina’s eyes light up at the Dachshund in the photos. The younger girl then gently chides Momo for going (It’s bad for your allergies, Momo!).

 

Momo reaches out to massage Mina’s leg as Mina goes back to knitting. _Mina’s so strong_ , she thinks, to be able to keep dancing as she did. Momo looks at her feet, so very heavily marred by bruises and calluses, wondering what pain Mina had to endure doing ballet as a child. Momo worries about Mina sometimes. Mina isn’t the type to complain so long as she could bear the pain in her knee.

 

There’s something calming about being with Mina that Momo can’t quite place. The weird restless feeling inside Momo’s chest slowly dissipates. The feeling of calm is somewhat strange. It felt like that good feeling from waking up after a good night sleep to a day off. The calmness that comes without needing to rush.  

 

Momo leans her back against the cold, hard wall and finds herself slipping out of consciousness.

 

This is how Sana finds them later, leaning against each other backs against the wall, softly dozing on the cold floor, as they’re gathering the members in the living room for one big vlive with the rest of the members.

 

“Momo, Mina,” Sana shakes them gently. “We’re doing the vlive now, come to the living room?”

 

Momo wakes up, eyes bleary, still groggy from her nap. It barely registers in her head when Mina tells Sana to go ahead as she patiently waits for Momo’s consciousness to settle in.

 

Momo whines as she stretches her arms out, prompting Mina to laugh. The younger girl stretches her hand out for Momo to take, “Let’s go, Momoring?”

 

Mina gives her a soft, gentle smile. Momo feels calm as she reaches out to Mina’s outstretched hand and grasps it. She returns Mina’s smile with a wide one of her own as the younger girl pulls her up to stand.

 

That restless feeling in Momo’s chest is gone.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> do leave a comment if you have the time :) i'm also [here](https://twitter.com/shinytogeprii) if you all wanna talk or rant about whatever. for those waiting for a sequel for illmet its in progress rn


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